When Earning More Becomes a Deal-Breaker: Why Are We Still Here?

I recently read an article that's been weighing on me. A woman was divorcing her husband because he couldn't handle her earning more money. He insisted on splitting everything 50/50, even when she was happy to contribute more. When she wanted to splurge on a luxury vacation and offered to pay for it entirely, he refused—so they settled for a cheaper trip he could afford instead.

What really got me? Despite earning more, she was still doing most of the housework.

I keep asking myself: where's the logic? Are we really so bound to outdated gender roles that we treat them like commandments? I hope my kids never become trapped by this kind of thinking. What's most disheartening is that this isn't just one couple's problem—it shows up in divorce statistics.

The numbers tell a troubling story: divorce rates are higher when women out-earn their male partners. When roles follow traditional patterns, divorce rates drop. Even with all the progress women have made, we're still fighting these old-fashioned attitudes.

I haven't had to navigate this personally. My husband and I earn about the same, but he's always been my biggest cheerleader—constantly encouraging me to aim higher and apply for better positions. Early in our marriage, he made significantly more than I did, but I eventually caught up. I can tell you firsthand: having more disposable income just makes life easier. We can order takeout when we're exhausted, take spontaneous weekend trips when we need a break. That financial flexibility helps us handle life's stresses together. Money has never been a source of tension because we've always had enough.

If you know someone struggling with their partner out-earning them, please share this: You're incredibly lucky to have someone who is financially stable. She's with you for you—that's the highest compliment you can receive. She doesn't need your money, which means there's nothing transactional about your relationship. If you're married, her income isn't just hers—it's ours. It goes into a shared pot that benefits your entire family, including your children.

Your spouse is your life partner—you need them regardless of who makes what. Money can't buy the emotional support you'll need during a family loss, a health crisis, or just the daily grind that slowly chips away at your peace of mind. You need someone in your corner because life is hard.

Don't let earning potential become a wedge. If you've found a good person, hold on tight. You might not find another like them.